Who ARE you?

What do you do?

Where will you work?

How much do you charge?

Do you guarantee your work?

Cool Repair Tricks That Probably No One Else Has!

So, who ARE you?
"Why should I trust you with my computer?"

Philosophically, I'm still working on who I am.  Otherwise, I'm that sixteen year old kid with the hood up and grease under my nails, but a lot older.  I've spent a lot of my life designing electrical and mechanical devices and improvements, making them, repairing all manner of things mechanical and electronic.  I'm just a natural with such things, once testing at the 99th percentile in Mechanical Aptitude.

In the fall of 1996 I could afford my first used computer, although I had used some in several work environments (DOS, 286, 386, remember them?)  Wow, a genuine 486 chip running at 25mhz and with Windows 3.11.  I immediately did what I always do: jump in with both feet and started upgrading and improving it.  More speed, more RAM, more, more, more....yee hah!

By 2000 I was running a twenty seat computer lab in a community center mostly funded by the old telephone company, US West.  My assistant and I taught classes to low income, elderly, minority, and homeless people and gave them access to the Internet.  Unfortunately, Qwest had a different philosophy about supporting community, and the lab shut down. Read about that dark hour in a Westword interview at http://www.westword.com/issues/2000-08-24/news/calhoun.html .  

A year later I was working for a large seniors organization.  They were interested in getting some computers set up, so I did it, donating hardware and some giant monitors I had laying around.   To this day, I stay apprised of what is happening in the world of operating systems, hardware, and software.  

What do you do? What do you work on?
"I just want my computer to behave, run fast as it can, and not frustrate me!"

Windows.  All versions except the glass kind.  Windows 98 a specialty.  PC's only.  No Macs, no Linux.  Sorry.

DSL and broadband setup.  Basic networking and wireless networking.  Security issues.  Backups and data integrity.

Upgrades of hardware, software, and Operating Systems.  Instructions.  Ask me.

I do the types of things that the Big Boys (Comp USA, Best Buy, Wally-Mart) or the MSNE (Microsoft Network Engineer) level of expertise don't want to do.  In other words, home and SOHO users without giant networks, hundreds of users, and a generator throbbing in the basement supporting all that.  

It's a sad fact that computers will give you grief.  Bad software writing leaves registry detritus, carbon buildup, and body odor.  Booting takes longer and longer, seemingly there are gremlins that take over (it's not your imagination), and nothing works like it once did or you want it to.  You need..........a tuneup.  Badly!

Thinking of  chucking all your problems and buying a new computer?  Thinking that maybe an Operating System (OS) upgrade will fix your problems?  For a fraction of the cost of a new computer, I can usually make yours operate "like new."  Installing a new OS (usually Windows XP) on top of a system that is not at its peak will usually only result in an even slower running new OS!

I work well with seniors due to five years full time work experience with them.  I am sensitive to their concerns, limitations, and incomes.   I can show the elderly simple tricks that make it easier to see things, navigate faster, and make computing more enjoyable.  Heck, some stores say I'm a senior, too.

I listen to what you want, what your goals are, and what your budget is.  Then we'll discuss those matters before I do anything.  Email or phone conversations are free.

Where will you work?
"Pay me enough and my passport is in my bag!"

OK, I'm not expecting a call to Honolulu or Wazzthatnameistan.  But I will work almost anywhere in the Denver Metro area.  I prefer points south and west, but will saddle up for north and east, too.

How much do you charge?
"How much money do you have?" asks the guy at the computer store.

Check out most of the guys out there and you'll see rates starting at $70 and headed up from there.  Sometimes that's what you need, a Multi-Certified-Hyper-Geek.  They deserve the money.  They can do things I can't.  

But do you need a cabinet maker when you're framing a shed?

I guess I'm a shed framer.  For most of my work I charge $44 per hour, one hour minimum, for work in the central, south, and western areas of Denver.  (Denver, Englewood, Sheridan, Littleton, Lakewood, and similar.)  

For communities such as Golden, Westminster, Arvada, Thornton, Aurora, Greenwood Village, and similar I charge a $15 travel fee in addition to services performed.  

For other areas, email or call to discuss fees.

My watch runs slow, so you are assured of good value.  If I mess up or am completely stumped (yes, it happens), you are not charged for the time in recovery.  I try to be very fair.

Once in a rare while I may not be able to fix your computer on site.  We will weigh the the alternatives of a return trip versus getting it done in your home or office.  Again, I consult with you, weight the options, and try to be very fair.

Do you guarantee your work?
"Of course."

My policy is that I want you happy.  I want you to tell your friends about me.  That's the cheapest advertising I can buy, and I sleep well at night.  Except when Gnosis, my giant black cat, jumps on the bed.

Do you have any cool repair tricks up your geek sleeve?

I am SO glad you asked!  Here are some techniques I have to assure your happiness:

Attack of the cbyer-zombies

Say your problem is relatively minor or it would help if I could just "take a look" before committing to further work.  If you can do a few prepatory clicks and such, I can communicate directly with your computer over the internet!  Yup, I'll just take it over like those Night of the Living Dead guys.  (It's pretty spooky watching your mouse move around with your hands in your pockets!)  Any Windows system, any internet connection.  Not to worry about security!  The connections are highly secure and only YOU can connect to ME, so it's not like I'm going to come back in the middle of the night and read your emails.  Actually, I have several options for this service, including what we might call "I trust you completely, you can connect as needed."  My fee for this is the same $44 per hour, but since I can do it in my pajamas and don't need to drive to your house, my minimum fee is $22 for 30 minutes. 

Better'n Star Trek

Remember that thingy that Bones on Star Trek always used to diagnose his patients just by waving it over them?  In seconds (and with appropriate beeps from the audio effects department) he would instantly know everything about his patient.  Well, I have something almost as cool to know what is going on in your computer.  I plug something (my secret) into your USB port and in seconds I have tools to diagnose your computer at my ready.  Hey, I'll go one beter than Bones' device; mine will often fix your computer!  In fact, if your computer won't boot, I can in many circustances, boot to my magic thingy and fix your computer from it!  Think of it as a computer laboratory and pharmacy in my pocket.  I could make more money doing it the way most others do, slowly installing programs onto your hard drive and then having to remove them, but no one ever said I was clever.  (I'll accept accolades of "smart", however.)

"Quick, nurse, set up the IV!"

Sometimes a hard drive will be so damaged from viruses, malware, or just plain physical ailments that it won't start, or if it does, it misbehaves like your snot-nosed adolescent and you are unable to use it.  Most tech people will, at that point, say, "I'll have to take this to the shop and work on it.  It should be ready in a week."  Besides the inconvenience, all your data is now walking out the door with a stranger.  Ahem.  I have life support cables that will allow me to connect your hard drive to my laptop, from which I can run tests, cleanups, and generally just spiff up that disk.  Usually this takes no more than an hour or two, often the hardest part is just getting that  (*&%# ! computer case open.  I don't even need to remove the drive.  Now, isn't this a better way of doing things?  Oh man, I guess I'm cutting my own throat again, huh? .