What do you
will you work?
much do you charge?
guarantee your work?
Cool Repair Tricks That Probably No One Else Has!
should I trust you with my computer?"
I'm still working on who
I am. Otherwise, I'm that
sixteen year old kid with the hood up and grease under my nails,
but a lot older. I've spent a lot of my life designing
electrical and mechanical devices and improvements, making them,
repairing all manner of things mechanical and electronic. I'm
just a natural with such things, once testing at the 99th
percentile in Mechanical Aptitude.
In the fall of 1996 I
could afford my first used computer, although I had used some in
several work environments (DOS, 286, 386, remember them?) Wow,
a genuine 486 chip running at 25mhz and with Windows 3.11. I
immediately did what I always do: jump in with both feet and
started upgrading and improving it. More speed, more RAM,
more, more, more....yee hah!
By 2000 I was running a
twenty seat computer lab in a community center mostly funded by
the old telephone company, US West. My assistant and I
taught classes to low income, elderly, minority, and homeless
people and gave them access to the Internet. Unfortunately,
Qwest had a different philosophy about supporting community, and
the lab shut down. Read about that dark hour in a Westword
A year later I was working for a large seniors
organization. They were interested in getting some
computers set up, so I did it, donating hardware and some giant
monitors I had laying around. To this day, I stay apprised
of what is happening in the world of operating systems, hardware,
do you do? What do you work on?
"I just want my
computer to behave, run fast as it can, and not frustrate
All versions except the glass kind. Windows
98 a specialty. PC's only. No
Macs, no Linux. Sorry.
DSL and broadband setup.
Basic networking and wireless networking. Security
issues. Backups and data integrity.
hardware, software, and Operating Systems. Instructions.
I do the types of things that the Big Boys
(Comp USA, Best Buy, Wally-Mart) or the MSNE (Microsoft Network
Engineer) level of expertise don't want to do. In other
words, home and SOHO users without giant networks, hundreds of
users, and a generator throbbing in the basement supporting all
It's a sad fact that computers will give you
grief. Bad software writing leaves registry detritus,
carbon buildup, and body odor. Booting takes longer and
longer, seemingly there are gremlins that take over (it's not
your imagination), and nothing works like it once did or you want
it to. You need..........a tuneup. Badly!
of chucking all your problems and buying a new computer?
Thinking that maybe an Operating System (OS)
upgrade will fix your problems? For a fraction of the cost
of a new computer, I can usually make yours operate "like
new." Installing a new OS (usually Windows XP) on top
of a system that is not at its peak will usually only result in
an even slower running new OS!
I work well with
seniors due to five years full time work experience with
them. I am sensitive to their concerns, limitations, and
incomes. I can show the elderly simple tricks that make it
easier to see things, navigate faster, and make computing more
enjoyable. Heck, some stores say I'm a senior, too.
listen to what you want, what your goals are, and what your
budget is. Then we'll discuss those matters before I do
anything. Email or phone conversations are free.
will you work?
me enough and my passport is in my bag!"
I'm not expecting a call to Honolulu or Wazzthatnameistan. But
I will work almost anywhere in the Denver Metro area. I
prefer points south and west, but will saddle up for north
and east, too.
much do you charge?
much money do you have?" asks the guy at the computer
out most of the guys out there and you'll see rates starting at
$70 and headed up from there. Sometimes that's what you
need, a Multi-Certified-Hyper-Geek. They deserve the money.
They can do things I can't.
But do you need a
cabinet maker when you're framing a shed?
I guess I'm a
shed framer. For most of my work I charge $44 per
hour, one hour minimum, for work in the central, south,
and western areas of Denver. (Denver, Englewood,
Sheridan, Littleton, Lakewood, and similar.)
communities such as Golden, Westminster, Arvada, Thornton,
Aurora, Greenwood Village, and similar I charge a $15 travel fee
in addition to services performed.
For other areas,
email or call to discuss fees.
My watch runs slow, so you
are assured of good value. If I mess up
am completely stumped
(yes, it happens),
you are not charged for the time in recovery. I try to be
in a rare while I may not be able to fix your computer on
site. We will weigh the the alternatives of a return trip versus getting it
done in your home or office. Again, I consult with you, weight the
options, and try to be very fair.
you guarantee your work?
policy is that I want you happy. I want you
to tell your friends about me. That's the cheapest
advertising I can buy, and I sleep well at night. Except
when Gnosis, my giant black cat, jumps on the bed.
have any cool repair tricks up your geek sleeve?
I am SO
glad you asked! Here are some techniques I have to assure your
of the cbyer-zombies
problem is relatively minor or it would help if I could just
"take a look" before committing to further work. If
you can do a few prepatory clicks and such, I can communicate
directly with your computer over the internet! Yup, I'll just
take it over like those Night of the Living Dead guys.
(It's pretty spooky watching your mouse move around with your hands
in your pockets!) Any Windows system, any internet
connection. Not to worry about security! The
connections are highly secure and only YOU can connect to ME, so
it's not like I'm going to come back in the middle of the night and
read your emails. Actually, I have several options for this
service, including what we might call "I trust you completely,
you can connect as needed." My fee for this is the same $44 per hour,
but since I can do it in my pajamas and don't need to drive to your
house, my minimum fee is $22 for 30 minutes.
that thingy that Bones on Star Trek always used to diagnose his
patients just by waving it over them? In seconds (and with
appropriate beeps from the audio effects department) he would
instantly know everything about his patient. Well, I have
something almost as cool to know what is going on in your
computer. I plug something (my secret) into your USB port and in
seconds I have tools to diagnose your computer at my ready.
Hey, I'll go one beter than Bones' device; mine will often fix
your computer! In fact, if your computer won't boot, I can in
many circustances, boot to my magic thingy and fix your computer
from it! Think of it as a computer laboratory and
pharmacy in my pocket. I could make more money doing it the
way most others do, slowly installing programs onto your hard drive
and then having to remove them, but no one ever said I was
clever. (I'll accept accolades of "smart", however.)
nurse, set up the IV!"
Sometimes a hard drive will be so damaged from viruses,
malware, or just plain physical ailments that it won't start, or if
it does, it misbehaves like your snot-nosed adolescent and you are
unable to use it. Most tech people will, at that point, say,
"I'll have to take this to the shop and work on it. It
should be ready in a week." Besides the inconvenience,
all your data is now walking out the door with a stranger.
Ahem. I have life support cables that will allow me to connect
your hard drive to my laptop, from which I can run tests, cleanups,
and generally just spiff up that disk. Usually this takes no
more than an hour or two, often the hardest part is just getting
that (*&%# ! computer case open. I don't even need
to remove the drive. Now, isn't this a better way of doing
things? Oh man, I guess I'm cutting my own throat again, huh?